"I wouldn't have to lie when Dad was alive. But now he's not." That's the way it is with everyone. Someone on the planet is making you the person you are. It may not seem like it, but think about it. You try and impress your friends. You maybe try to get a girl to like you. But to get that girl, you need to use your sources to become the person she likes. This is called shaping. This is the first stage of COA. When you are shaping, you are getting to the final font of your adult self. You creating the space and special mindset by which you will live within. Because of the process of COA, becoming who you are can be extremely difficult.
At this point, you have finished the stage of shaping. You know who you are, what your significance level is, and what you want to do with your life. If you have not completed this, please move back to the shaping stage. Oskar is not shaped, but remaking the process. Because of his wits, but not knowledge, he is finding the world a little bit different. He is altering this process and just losing himself. His dad is gone. His dad was his path. Without his dad, he can't find his way. This is called paving. The stage of Oskar's life currently. Oskar has found the things he wants to do and who he is, but doesn't know how to utilize his mistakes to find his way.
The part of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close about Thomas and Anna meeting was extremely confusing and incredibly interesting. Thomas is very unique as his teenage self. Anna is also difficult to get a read on. I think this is due to the fact that they both need each other and can't find what they can and cannot do. They are stuck in shaping. They are dependable on each other, but want to be able to connect to the ever changing world around them.
The final stage of the COA process, is adult configuration and programming. You have become the constructed figure of yourself, now all you need to do is plan ahead. The intoxicating task of the COA experience. You need to help yourself create the path by which you will live by. This is known as the hardest stage because you are forcing yourself to let go of the things that you once depended on. You are almost in the real, unimaginable world. All you need to do is make the furnishings and polish your paved path. From there, you can finish the path by completing the intoxicating task. I hope this guide was of great assistance, and that you live to enjoy your life.
Yours Truly,
Oskar Schell
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